My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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