I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
