I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Holy shit dude........stairs
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
