and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
