we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
soo... how was my night?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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