Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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