He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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