I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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