wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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