its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
