You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
