Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
