You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Drunk is not a location!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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