Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
