If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize