im about as happy as oj after his trial
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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