The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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