worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
