He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Randomize
