It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
