I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
