You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
