Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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