they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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