i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
