Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
now i know why i became what i already was.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
