I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
