I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
