Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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