no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
