Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
