I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
