3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
its not stalking. its research.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
