Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
