belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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