he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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