I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
