i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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