why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So. Much. Porn.
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