So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
