Got a toothbrush?
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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