I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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