im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Even my vagina gasped.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
