physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
