ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
