I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
