Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
