Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
