I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
