singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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