Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.

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(408): View more from California

I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete

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(360): View more from Washington

It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I hugged the bouncer as we left.

Fav 3 842 531
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(512): View more from Texas

The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom

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(647): View more from Ontario

Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.

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