oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize