you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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