Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
