i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
