Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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