Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I stole a fireplace last night.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
