Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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