i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
