Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
