I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
