Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
