By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
