i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
