Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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