After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize