I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
so much tequila, so little girl.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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