Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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