So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
