see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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