Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
