i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
